Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Two Roads Home

Like most humans, I take the road most traveled. My journey with God has been crowded, has had many curves, mountains and valleys. I do envy those whose path has been straight from birth to present; who always have their eye on Him, even though life has not always been "pretty" for them either.  I want to be like them and like the mystics, but I let things get in the way. I long for that road. I struggle. I cry out for help! I cry.
1 Samuel 6:12 "Then the cows went straight...they did not turn left or right."
Even the cows of the Old Testament are better than I. lol

I have always loved the mystics and the mystical side of religion. The "going deeper" into one's faith and study of the Bible. I love the stories of the Saints and other mystics. Their faith is so powerful and strong. I know it comes about by discipline, perseverance, the study of God's word and keeping an open mind and heart to hear that tiny Voice within.

I have been studying, "Beyond Kabbalah." by Rabbi Joel David Bakst for quite some time with my Jewish sister-in-law, who I have mentioned before. The book is a hard study. Not for everyone. The Rabbi says in the book, "One in 1000 will get it." Surprisingly, I'm getting it, with my SIL's help. The book is fascinating, eye and mind opening, full of twists and turns, has hard questions, soul searching answers and so much joy some days I can hardly stand it.  This is not a book for the faint of heart, but I highly recommend giving it try.
Beyond Kabbalah - The Teachings That Cannot Be Taught: Preparing for the Messianic Era and Beyond - An introduction, orientation & illustrated ... Kabbalah and Consciousness) (Volume 4)
by Joel David Bakst
 

My path is getting straighter through studying my Bible, reading blogs by other Christians and studying the mystics and mystical. It is quite a journey, to say the least.

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet;
a light on my path.

Gratitude (prompts from aholyexperience.com)
3 gifts difficult
1. The Path
2. The journey
3. The world and its ways

Phil 1:4
In all my prayers for all of you,
I always pray with joy.

Blessings,
Deborah


Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Shakedown Update.

I am better. I would say about 95% back to where I was before the shakedown. I still have some trouble praying, but it is improving. I am stronger and the anger and loneliness are gone. I am remembering Who I belong to.
"My beloved is mine and I am his." Song of Songs 2:16
I am holding onto 2Corinthians 4:8  "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
God is good. His mercy and love are everlasting.
I believe this healing is directly related to your prayers for me and I thank you with all my heart.

Speaking of chapter 4 verse 8, I have been copying down all chapter 4, verse 8's in my spiritual journal. It just came to me one day when I realized there were a few that I loved* in different books of the Bible and wondered how they would all look together in the same place. It has been a very interesting study and I will talk more about it when I am done. Only 15 more books to go. Have you ever done anything like this? It's fascinating. Very Rabbinical my Jewish Sister-in-law tells me. I liked that.

*Psalm 4:8
In peace I will lie down and sleep;
for You alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in You.
Show me the way I should go,
for to You I lift up my soul.

Gratitude
1. All of you prayer warriors
2. My readers
3 Joy in the Lord again.

Phil 1:4
In all my prayers for all of you,
I always pray with joy.

Blessings,
Deborah

P.S. I lost another pound! Yay me!


Thursday, July 7, 2016

Shakedown in Faith

I had a major shakedown in faith. Almost lost it actually. I have never experienced anything like it before and I hope to never again. It was hard. It was ugly. It was lonely.

The aftermath is struggle. I'm struggling to climb back up to where my faith was. I am almost there. Baby steps. I am choosing not to share why this happened as it is too personal and was more that just one thing. That is usually the case, I'm thinking. Sometimes God does give us more than we can handle in that minute.

Like I said, I have never experienced this before. I've had small episodes of questioning, but NEVER anything like this. To have almost lost my faith is staggering. It is who I am. The almost loss was devastating. I can only imagine what it would have been like to really lose my faith.  I shudder to think of my life without God. I don't know how people do that.

I would appreciate your prayers.

I will try to remember this meme daily.


It makes me cry to read it now.

Gratitude
1. Faith
2. Mercy
3. Forgiveness

Phil 1:4
In all my prayers for all of you,
I always pray with joy.



Blessings,
Deborah

Blank Pages Can Be Intimidating

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