More Thoughts on Grief

Welcome and blessings.

I've been absent lately.
And absent minded.
I'm having trouble focusing for long.
I'm still crying at any given moment.
Hiding in my room so no one knows.
Trying to smile and be social when all I really want to be is alone.

I have a jury summons this week. I'm one of the few people who actually don't mind serving. I find it all very interesting, but I don't think I would be very good at it right now. The focusing and tracking thing could be a problem. I may ask to be excused. I feel bad about that, but hey, my mom died. And two other people I loved and my beloved cat. Can I please be excused? Give me 6 months and I'll gladly come back and serve. Of course, what would really be nice is if I call the night before and it has been cancelled. That would be the best thing to happen. I'm praying for that outcome.

We've had company this past week It has been wonderful to have a full house to cook for. People to talk to and share stories with. It has been a nice diversion. That doesn't mean I haven't gone off and cried a couple of times, but they have been so understanding. They are leaving tomorrow and I will miss them. A lot. Safe travels home, dear family.

This week I promised myself to get back on track in the losing weight department. More on that subject later.

I would like to say thank you on this Memorial Day to all who have served, are now serving and especially to those soldiers who laid down their lives for my freedom. There really are no words to express my deep gratitude to all of you. God Bless you all.

(Photo found on Google images. No credit given to photographer.)

Gratitude
1. Soldiers and Veterans
2. Family and friends
3. Holidays

Blessings,
Deborah

I Remember Mama

Welcome and Good Morning.

I've been trying to write for days now, but just come here and stare at the blank screen.
My mother passed away last Saturday.She was in the last stages of life for a week and the words just would not come to me.
Saying that last good-bye always seems to get stuck in my throat; clogged there with too much love and sadness to get by.
I didn't grow up with Hazel, my birth mother, so I don't have years and years of memories to cling to, to help ease the grieving moments. But I do have some very sweet memories to cherish and cling to, and cling I will.
Grief is a funny thing that comes in waves to knock you down when you least expect it. Like yesterday at the florist and later at Safeway when I was at the olive bar trying to get the stupid lid on the container of olives I wanted to buy. I tried FIVE times to get that stupid lid on and finally handed it all to my girlfriend and said, "I'm going to give these flying lessons unless you do this for me." She started laughing, it was a pretty funny thing to say, until she looked at me and saw the tears welling in my eyes. Stupid things like that can get you going out of nowhere.
I take comfort in other places, too especially my Bible like Mama always did in times of sorrow or joy.
One of her favorites was Psalm 23. I haven't met anyone who doesn't like that Psalm, but I'm finding new comfort there now that I learned it was one of Mama's favorites.

"He calms me beside still waters.
He restoreth my soul."

I don't like the feeling of being an orphan now either. Who thought I was grown up enough at 63 to take charge of the world?  Scary thought! *shudders*
At least I'm not the Matriarch of the family now. That honor falls to my oldest sister. She will do an awesome job of it, too I'm sure.

Good-bye, dear Mama.
Easier to type than say.
Rest in peace you sweet soul.
You will be so missed.

Mama on her Wedding Day.

Gratitude
1. My mothers, Hazel and Beverly
2. My family
3. My friends

Take a few minutes and read Psalm 23 in memory of Mama.

Blessings,
Deborah

Thoughts About Mother

Welcome and blessings.

My mother is back in the hospital again.
This will be how it is from now on; in and out as the need comes.
Her body is breaking down. The pneumonia is not going away. Last night they gave her heavy duty antibiotics and this morning the 103* fever is gone.
Thank you, Lord.
They say they can only keep her comfortable now.
They say they are doing everything they can for her.
We appreciate all the tender care.
We appreciate her strong faith that she lives each day and models for us.
We appreciate her love for each of us and give it right back to her joyfully.
We don't know how much time we have left with her; days, weeks, months?
Only God knows that.
We do know we are facing a time without her.
Reality check time.
I want to throw a good-ole-two-year-old-tantrum!
I would if I thought it would do any good.
So, instead I will surrender her over to God;
leaving her in His hands that are so much more capable than mine.
I will cherish every moment with her; every conversation on the phone.
And I will pray.

My sweet mother, Hazel.

Gratitude
1. My mother
2. My family
3. A loving God

Hebrews 13:5
I will in no way leave you,
neither will I in anyway
forsake you.

Blessings,
Deborah

My Other Mother

Welcome and Good Morning!

It's a rainy day here in my mountains. I love the rain.

Cold, rainy days make me want Cream of Wheat for breakfast and when I eat some, like today, it takes me right back to my childhood and my mom's Formica kitchen table. It was grey and white Formica with chrome legs and matching chairs. Cream of Wheat is comfort food to me. Warms the tummy and the soul and brings back lovely memories of sitting at that table with Mom. Yesterday, I talked about my birth Mother, Hazel. Today I'm talking about the Mother who adopted me, Beverly. I am blessed with two loving Mothers. 

Beverly was a sweet, hardworking lady. She loved in a big way, with all her heart and you knew it. I never doubted her love for me. She was only 5'2" tall; Irish, German and French. She loved to laugh. Mom passed away almost thirteen years ago and the missing her is still raw some days. What I wouldn't give for one day to sit with a cup of tea and visit with her. Love you, Mom. 

Always makes me sigh and smile when I think of her.

A quilt I made for one of my grandsons a few years ago.

Gratitude
1. My two mothers
2. Rain
3. Cream of Wheat :) 

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation,
by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God. 

Blessings,
Deborah

Prayers Needed

Welcome and thanks for stopping by.

I am asking for prayers for my mother who was hospitalized last night with pneumonia. She is 85 years old, a dialysis patient and suffers from other health issues as well.

This is mama a year ago on her birthday. Her name is Hazel and she just celebrated her birthday on Tuesday. She is a trooper and has beat illness many times. We pray she has the strength to do it again. She has a strong faith that has seen her through many battles. She has been on dialysis for 9 years! I will say it again...she is a trooper and a walking miracle. 

All prayers are much appreciated.

Gratitude

1. My mother, Hazel

2. Family

3. God's mercy

Hebrews 13:5

I will in no way leave you,

neither will I in anyway

forsake you.

Blessings,

Deborah

Let Us Give Thanks - Day 24

Happy Thanksgiving to those in and from the USA!!!

Day 25 - 30 Day Thanksgiving Prayer Challenge by Rosilind
Colossians 3:15
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Write this in your Prayer Journal and pray it throughout the day.

Day 24 - 30 Day Praise and Thanksgiving Scripture Study Challenge
Day 24 - 30 Day Art and Faith Journal Challenge

Praise and Thanksgiving Scripture Study

Psalm 145:1-2
I will exalt You,
my God the King;
I will praise Your name for ever and ever.
Every day I will praise You and extol Your name
for ever and ever.

Write this verse in your journal. Add art, if you so desire.

Digging Deeper

Other translations
KJV
I will extol Thee, my God,
and I will bless Thy name,
for ever and ever.
Every day I will bless Thee;
and I will praise Thy name
for ever and ever.

MSG
I lift You high in praise, my God,
O my King! and I'll bless Your name
into eternity.
I'll bless You every day, and keep it up
from now to eternity.

AMP
I will exalt You, my God, O King,
and (with gratitude and submissive wonder)
I will bless Your name
forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You
and lovingly praise You;
Yes, (with awe-inspired reverence)
I will praise Your name
forever and ever.

exalt - worship - revere - elevate - promote

Nelson's Bible Commentary
The psalm expresses God's grandness in the universe and reminds us of how small we are in His presence.

Art and Faith Journal

Micron 5 brown pen was used to write the psalm. Comfy chair stamp in green ink to give thanks for my reading chair. "Give thanks" picture of turkey by Debbie Mumm.

Gratitude

1. Family day

2. Safe travels

3. Turkey and all the fixings

Phil 1:4

In all my prayers for all of you,

I always pray with joy.

Blessings,

Deborah