More Thoughts on Grief

Welcome and blessings.

I've been absent lately.
And absent minded.
I'm having trouble focusing for long.
I'm still crying at any given moment.
Hiding in my room so no one knows.
Trying to smile and be social when all I really want to be is alone.

I have a jury summons this week. I'm one of the few people who actually don't mind serving. I find it all very interesting, but I don't think I would be very good at it right now. The focusing and tracking thing could be a problem. I may ask to be excused. I feel bad about that, but hey, my mom died. And two other people I loved and my beloved cat. Can I please be excused? Give me 6 months and I'll gladly come back and serve. Of course, what would really be nice is if I call the night before and it has been cancelled. That would be the best thing to happen. I'm praying for that outcome.

We've had company this past week It has been wonderful to have a full house to cook for. People to talk to and share stories with. It has been a nice diversion. That doesn't mean I haven't gone off and cried a couple of times, but they have been so understanding. They are leaving tomorrow and I will miss them. A lot. Safe travels home, dear family.

This week I promised myself to get back on track in the losing weight department. More on that subject later.

I would like to say thank you on this Memorial Day to all who have served, are now serving and especially to those soldiers who laid down their lives for my freedom. There really are no words to express my deep gratitude to all of you. God Bless you all.

(Photo found on Google images. No credit given to photographer.)

Gratitude
1. Soldiers and Veterans
2. Family and friends
3. Holidays

Blessings,
Deborah

The Book of Ephesians

Welcome and Good Morning!

God has been nudging me for quite some time to read the Book of Ephesians and this morning I finally got around to reading it. I've read the book before, but today it answered so many questions I have been chewing on for so long.
Why didn't I read it with the first nudge, you might be asking?
I'm asking that myself, but maybe I wasn't ready yet to hear what it had to say.
Maybe I needed to chew and stew for awhile to accept all I needed to hear with an open heart.
I heard it today. I'm rejoicing in the answers!
I can't remember where I read a story about a man who read Ephesians every day for a month. He said it gave him new insight in the book and made him able to really embrace the truth of the words and make them his own to live by. If I remember where I will share it with you. It was a great story.
I'm taking the challenge.
I'm going to read the Book of Ephesians every day for a month.
Anyone want to join me?

Another beautiful picture I took when I was home.

Gratitude

1. His word

2. Answered questions

3. You, my dear reader

Ephesians 3:17-18

And I pray that you,

being rooted and established in love,

may have power,

together with all the Lord's holy people,

to grasp how wide and long 

and high and deep

is the love of Christ.

Blessings,

Deborah

P.S. My Cat Died, Too.

Welcome and Blessings.

Somehow, when I was talking about all the deaths I have experience lately I forgot to say my cat died the same week that my mother did.
How could have I forgotten to mention that?!!
My dear, sweet Maverick.

Such a silly cat. Afraid of his own shadow. Friends had rare sightings of him, if any at all. I had to show most people his picture to prove we really did have a cat. Sometimes he would even act afraid of us, especially if we had a hat or a hood on. Even if we spoke to him to prove it was us, he would go into his low rider mode and run under the bed. So silly.

I miss him dearly.

I thought I wouldn't want any more animals when he was gone. Five years ago we had 3 dogs and 3 cats and now we have none. Too many losses in such a short time. That's what happens when you get them all close to the same age. We lost our last two dogs last year. One in January and one in November. Tears another little hole in my soul when each one passes. Anyway, after the last dog passed I thought, "NO MORE ANIMALS!" I can't take this loss. But now that Maverick is gone I'm not so sure. On the morning my husband told me he had passed in the night my first thought, after sobbing over the loss, was, "Oh my! I don't have a cat anymore." I'm not so sure I can live without a cat in my life. I'm not rushing out to get one. I want time to grieve Mav's loss, but I'm pretty sure there will be another cat someday. 

My life just isn't complete without that purring in my ear. 

Gratitude

1. Tootsie (dog)

2. Leena (dog)

3. Molly (dog)

4 . Lili (cat)

5. Sassy (cat)

6. Maverick (cat)

Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything,

but in every situation,

by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving,

present your requests to God.

Blessings,

Deborah

Grief is Hard

Welcome. I hope you are having a blessed day.

"Grief is hard," is an understatement.
It is effecting me in many ways, especially in the writing department.
I told myself today that I need to stop staring at blank notebooks and blank screens and write something.
Anything.
So, here I am.
My mother died.
My favorite high school teacher died.
A young man, who was a preschool student of mine 13 or so years ago died a year ago. I found that out, too when I went home for my mother's funeral.
Now back home, I found out last week that my best friend's wife has cancer.
Write?
Really?
You want me to write poetry or a short story?
Now?
No.
I can't.
It's not in here inside this numb brain so filled with grief I can hardly breathe.
I love to read.
Can't focus on the page.
Craft?
Pfft.
Cry?
I can do that.
Stare off into space?
I can do that.
Go through the daily motion of getting dressed, fixing meals, talking when spoken to?
Yes, I can do those things.
Pray?
Yes, if I ask God for help with my prayers.
Write?
Well, I guess I just did.
Just don't ask me to be creative about it.

A picture I took while home.

Gratitude
1. Oceans
2. Flowers
3. Birds

Hebrews 13:5
I will in no way leave you,
neither will I in any way
forsake you.



Blessings,
Deborah

The Beloved Community

 

 

 

Welcome and Good Morning!

I'm sharing another wonderful article by Fr. Richard Rohr. Enjoy!

The Beloved Community
Tuesday, May 8, 2018

 

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. —Martin Luther King, Jr. [1]

As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. saw clearly in the last years of his life, we face a real choice between chaos and community—we need a moral revolution. If that was true fifty years ago, then we must be clear today: America needs a moral revival to bring about beloved community. —William J. Barber II [2]

I believe that “moral revival” is a natural outgrowth of realizing how connected we already are: what we do unto others or to the earth, we really do to ourselves. All created beings are included in this one Body of God. Protestant pastor and political leader Rev. Dr. William Barber writes:

The main obstacle to beloved community continues to be the fear that people in power have used for generations to divide and conquer God’s children who are, whatever our differences, all in the same boat. [3]

It takes a contemplative, nondual mind to see foundational oneness—that we truly are “in the same boat.” The first philosophical problem of “the one and the many” is overcome in God as Trinity. The Trinity reveals that God is precisely diversity maintained (“Father,” “Son,” and “Holy Spirit”) and yet that same diversity overcome (God is One by reason of the infinite love shared between the Three). Each of the Three perfectly loves and is perfectly loved. And all is created in imitation of this divine shape of Reality. As of yet, we humans have neither done unity nor diversity very well. We have not solved the essential problem that was already resolved in God. (Please read that until it sinks in!)

The goal of the spiritual journey is to discover and move toward connectedness and relationship on ever new levels, while also honoring diversity. We may begin by making connections with family and friends, with nature and animals, and then grow into deeper connectedness with those outside our immediate circle, especially people of races, religions, economic classes, gender, and sexual orientation that are different from our own. Finally, we can and will experience this full connectedness as union with God. For some it starts the other way around: they experience union with God—and then find it easy to unite with everything else.

Without connectedness and communion, we don’t exist fully as our truest selves. Becoming who we really are is a matter of learning how to become more and more deeply connected. No one can possibly go to heaven alone—or it would not be heaven.

Inherent Goodness can always uphold you if you can trust it. I call that goodness “God,” but you don’t have to use that word at all. God does not care. It is the trusting that is important. When we fall into Primal Love, we realize that everything is foundationally okay—and we are a part of that everything!

 

Gateway to Presence:
If you want to go deeper with today’s meditation, take note of what word or phrase stands out to you. Come back to that word or phrase throughout the day, being present to its impact and invitation.

 

 

[1] Martin Luther King, Jr. used these words (with slight changes) in essays and speeches from early 1958 to his last Sunday morning sermon at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC on March 31, 1968.  See A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr., ed. James Melvin Washington (HarperCollins: 1991), 52, 88, 207, 252, 277, 460.

[2] Reverend Dr. William J. Barber II, in the foreword to Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, Reconstructing the Gospel: Finding Freedom from Slaveholder Religion (InterVarsity Press: 2018), 3.

[3] Ibid.

Adapted from Richard Rohr: Essential Teachings on Love, ed. Joelle Chase and Judy Traeger (Orbis Books: 2018), 102, 104-105.

Image credit: Welcome (detail), Canticle Farm, Oakland California. To learn more about Canticle Farm, visit https://canticlefarmoakland.org/.